Why am I doing this? Getting Sentimental

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an artist when I grew up. A few years later, my aspirations changed to be a doctor, fireman, astronaut, etc. Why? None of my classmates at the time wanted to be an artist. I didn't want to be the different one.

Throughout high school, I took art classes: drawing classes, painting classes, photography, drama, and computer graphics. I even took after school college art classes, but I never felt confident in anything I did. I liked what I did. I just didn't think anyone else would. So, I always downplayed my skills. Only very few people in my life knew that I could draw well.

In college, I started my career as an Art Major. After the first year, however, I chickened out and changed majors. I did fine in my art class. I was just intimidated by the talent around me. I still regret the choice I made.

However, when I stopped drawing - in fact, stopped doing anything having to do with art - my mother noticed that I was unhappy. I didn't know why I was unhappy, but as tends to be the case with mothers, she knew. She told me, "Nicole. I miss seeing you drawing. You were made to be an artist." She told me this in my early 20s. Soon afterward, I attempted to draw something, but lacked the motivation to finish it. Instead, I tried chasing other things to fill the void, but I still felt like I was missng something. I still have that unfinished drawing in my portfolio.

It took a few years, but I eventually started getting involved with art again. I started small with coloring books. I would sit in front of the TV and have this itch to do something creative. Then, I would invite kids over and have little art parties, where we would paint clothes or dishes or whatever. And I always had a blast! I think I enjoyed those parties more than the kids did. And that brings me to today. I enjoy creating things. I like the creative process. Now I'm constantly enrolling myself into some form of art.

Many people my age know what they what to be when they grow up, I'm still figuring it out. However, in all the avenues I dabble in, I currently enjoy jewelry making the most. I get to play with fire! Or I can get dirty with clay. The sky is the limit when making jewelry and I want to keep learning about different techniques. So, I wanted to document the process and see where I can take it. I still am not confident in my skills, but I won't allow fear to stop me this time.  People at times don't understand me and may not even like what I'm doing. But, all I know is that I am happy allowing myself to be me. And I have a great support system in my family and friends and that's all I need.

Anyways, here's a bracelet I just made. I love the stone. However, my photography time with the studio lights = Fail! Back to the drawing board.